I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
