just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize