jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think my vagina is haunted
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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