I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
