6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize