You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
