No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
