hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
