Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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