I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i've created a new STD.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
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