There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
