I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
