i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just google imaged poop.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
