I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
