I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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