I think I just saw someone hide a body.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
