i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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