i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
