Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize