he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
