It was confusing and full of hummus
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
