The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
