fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
