u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
