I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Define "chronic" masturbator.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
