so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
jump out the window naked night went bad
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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