all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
