so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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