is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
