mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
two words: eviction party
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
