dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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