my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
PANTIES FOUND
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