Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
