I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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