I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
