thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize