i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
