i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
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