No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
sex in a hospital.. check
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
