Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
