dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
