I'm gonna have a badass scar
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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