Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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