Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm just crazy horny about you
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
