at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
