Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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