Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
