i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
