I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize