some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
