im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
