the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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