I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
