you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize