it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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