Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
