is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize