Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
