I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
