Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
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