Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
