Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
