5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize