Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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